I freakin wish I could do this. You wouldn’t be able to tell me shit.

Pin-Up Girl + Plus Size = Fckin Gorgeous!!!

Fuck *SNAP* You *SNAP* Mean!?!?!? *SNAP*

there will be tears
i’ve no doubt
there may be smiles
but a few
and when those tears
have run out

you will be numb and blue

There Will Be Tears - Frank Ocean

February 4, 2011 is not a day like to talk about. That day has forever changed my life. It has effected me mentally, physically..has even changed my personality. Mentally and Spiritually it has effected me in very different ways as well. I guess I should start off by telling the story in a nutshell: I was attacked and sexually assaulted outside my apartment on that Friday afternoon by a man Ive never met or seen before. He pleased Not Guilty of Reasonable Insanity and won. Over the past 6 months, Ive suffered through many breakdowns and depressed modes, trying to suppress my emotions in public, trying to express a happy disposition, but it gets hard. I wish the mental was easy to heal from like the physical was, but one thing the event has done was made my faith alot stronger. I thank God for showing mercy on my life because it couldve been much, much worse. This chapter in my life may never close but each day I’ll work towards getting a little better….just for my peace of mind.

{I usually post a date and time I write my poems but this doesn’t have one *sad face*}

This was inspired by a break-up w/ my Ex (one of many, smh) It was something I needed to end, but you know how you get into relationships and you get too comfortable, lol. I actually didnt want it to end but it wouldve been unhealthy for me to stay in it, so I nervously wrote this poem…

3 Little Words.

thoughts cloudy.

palms sweat.

heart races.

she breathes a heavy sigh *inhale…exhale*

knees shake.

she fidges in her seat.

forehead glistened w/ sweat of anxiousness.

scratches forearm nervously.

opens mouth, but nothing comes out.

 she breathes a heavy sigh *inhale…exhale*

taps finger rapidly.

begins to twirl hair.

stomach churns.

better now than never.

to say how she truly feels.

she calls him..

to simply say 3 little words…

IT. IS. OVER.

So I decided to start posting some of my old poems from my Poetry Notebook I finally found the other day! {#majorFistPump} I haven’t been inspired to write lately, maybe I need an escape, a change enviroment, IDK, but I know I need to write again, its extremely cathargic for me. But anywho here is My Dream….

My Dreams are as high as the planes that me and Grandpa would watch on the greeen colored grass on a Sunday afternoon.

My Dreams are as deep as Papa’s survival stories of World War II.

My Dreams burn brighter than candles lit on days when money was tight and we didnt have enough for the electric bill.

My Dreams are as lively as Grandma Broadnax’s spirits who’s spirit still lives on.

My Dreams are more stirred up thann Mama’s lemon iced tea.

My Dreams are as optimistic as Bishop’s Sunday Morning Preaching.

My Dreams have a story to tell like Grandma’s recollection of the ‘good ol days’.

My Dreams can move mountains with faith as small as a mustard seed.

My dreams have more purpose than my life on earth.

Isn’t that why we were put on earth anyways? To fulfill a purpose? What is your Dream?

heyfatchick:

Jill Scott

 Stunning.

While reading one of my favorite websites this morning, ClutchMagOnline, I came across an article named “My Hair, My Decision: Why I Straighten”. Reading over the article, I came across a quote that was made in Chris Rock’s movie “Good Hair” quoting this: “The reason why hair is so important is because our self esteem is wrapped up in it.” I’ve seen the movie several times and that quote always stuck out to me, out of its actuality. Majority of women, Black women in particular, define ourselves based on our hair, whether its consciously or subconsiously. Some women associate long flowing hair with beauty, Some women believe their hair is too nappy so they opt for a relaxer. Some women choose to rock their natural texture but only if its at a certain length and some women rock weaves just because their hair isn’t long enough. Now, I’m not saying that these choices are wrong but it all traces back to our self-esteem. I run into lots of women who want to go natural and they ask me about my journey, and when I tell them I decided to Big Chop, I get the “Oh honey, I can never do that!!” In my head Im wondering, why can’t you? Are you doing it for yourself or are you worried about how society will portray you or how your Boyfriend or Mother feels? The number one rule to building good self-esteem is confidence. Confidence is major key, even when you feel like you may not be looking your very best, as long as you exude a confident disposition, you’d be surprised at how people view you. I had lots of people who dissaproved of my short hair choice, but you know what? I threw on some makeup, put on some big earrings and held my head high! I want girls and women to have that same mindset…so don’t let hair define you!!